'When it was real tough I didn’t throw the towel in' – Alastair Cook
He addressed the media for the first time since his decision, discussing how he knew his time was up, and reflecting on a career filled with broken records and unmatched feats - and also a few regrets.
“It’s been a bit surreal,” he said, of the reaction his retirement has received in the past few days. “One of my friends rang me to see if I was still alive, everyone was talking as if I’d died. Obviously it is nice when you hear so many nice words said about you. The last couple of days I’ve been back at home so I didn’t see a lot of it until last night – I let myself have a little look [at what had been said] last night.
‘It means a lot. For example, someone stopped me when I was driving in and made me wind down the window and said ‘thank you very much.’ That was a nice moment. Hopefully this week I can score some runs and then go.”
Cook revealed that the decision had been a while in the making, and that England’s victory in the fourth Test made telling the world about his decision easier.
“You ask people about it [the decision to retire] along the way and they say ‘you know’ and I think that’s so true – for me anyway. I’ve been mentally incredibly tough and had that edge to everything I’ve done and that edge had kind of gone. That stuff which I found easy before just wasn’t quite there and that was the biggest sign.
“Over the last six months there’s been signs in my mind that this was going to happen and so I told Rooty [Joe Root] before the [fourth Test] and then told Trevor [Bayliss] during the game.
“In this day and age it’s very hard to keep anything quiet. If it was 2-2 then I would have had to have kept my mouth shut but when you do media and you’re asked questions it’s quite hard to constantly lie. I’m pretty good at it but there’s certain stuff you get asked and you just know you’re not being true to yourself.
"If it was 2-2 then I would have kept my mouth shut but once you’ve made that decision in your mind it’s always playing on your mind and as soon as you’ve told people you feel a bit more of a release.”
Picking out career highlights is a tough job for a man with so many, but Cook instantly answered with his two starring roles in England’s two greatest overseas triumphs of the last 30 years – in Australia in 2010/11, and in India in 2013/14.
“You can’t really look too far past those two away series when obviously I was man of the series and we won in Australia and India. That was the best I could play. And in my career as a whole I can look back and say I became the best player that I could become. And that actually means quite a lot to me. I have never been the most talented cricketer and I won’t pretend I was but I definitely think I got everything out of my ability.”
It wasn’t all sunshine and light for Cook, who pointed to the handling of Kevin Pietersen’s ‘sacking’ from the England team as the biggest regret of his time as a player.
“Decisions in hindsight are so easy,” he said. “Clearly the KP affair was a tough year, there’s absolutely no doubt about that. The fallout of that wasn’t great for English cricket and wasn’t great for me. I was involved in that decision without being the bloke that actually made the final decision.
“I think it could have been handled differently. I think the moment Andrew Strauss came on board and said that he personally made the decision, for me that was the best thing that could have happened. I do have regret over it because it wasn’t great for English cricket.”
In the wake of the saga, and of England’s crushing 5-0 defeat at the hands of Australia in the 13/14 Ashes, there were calls for Cook to stand down as captain. He didn’t, and went onto have three more successful years at the helm.
“When it was real tough I didn’t throw the towel in,” he said. “I still believe I was the best man for the job and the right man to be England captain at that time. I could have taken the easy option and thrown the towel in but I didn’t. And the team got the reward with the Ashes in 2015, which was brilliant.”
There was one other regret Cook selected, though this one was more tongue-in-cheek. “I regret getting Ishant Sharma out as my [only Test] wicket because he’s got his revenge constantly over the last couple of series.”
Cook will face Sharma one last time at The Oval, and though things haven’t gone his way this series, in which he has a high score of 29 from seven innings, he’s hoping for one final ‘daddy hundred’ to see him off into the sunset. “It would be fantastic. If I could play a really good innings that would be fantastic.”
Whatever happens in Cook’s final Test, he will be remembered as much for his personality and charm off the field as for his cussedness on it. Some tears have already been shed as he told the team of his decision. There will surely be more to come when his final Test concludes.
“I was a couple of beers in, which I needed to be, otherwise I would have cried more than I actually did [when he told his teammates he was retiring] I managed to hold it together. At the end of the game I just said it might be sad for some it might be happy for others but it’s time. And I’ve done my bit and if picked then the next one’s going to be my last game.
"There was a bit of silence for a bit and then I think Mo said something and everyone laughed and everyone just gone on with it, we had a nice evening in the changing room.”